Divorce was never one of my life goals.

As a child of the 50’s, I grew up with images of what a marriage should be that might be different from images of later generations.  Schools taught “Home Economics” but that was cooking and sewing, not real life issues that face married couples.  I think you learn your wedlock skills by observing your parents.  My parents were traditional young immigrants, they arrived from Scottish soil with $17.   From my young eyes, everything in my childhood was bliss.  From my adult eyes, I can see my parents had their share of trials and challenges but when the going got tough, they communicated, came up with the strategy and pulled together to make things better.  My parents were married for 57 years when my mother passed away.  As a little girl, I remember looking at my parents and my friends’ parents and thinking about what kind of wife and mother I wanted to be and that was a cross between June Cleaver and Martha Stewart! 

I never realized how much thought should go into choosing a life partner.  I probably should have been looking for a modern day version of Ward Cleaver.   I had fooled myself into believing that I, alone, could create the picture perfect marriage.

I don’t want to all the gory details of how I got here – suffice it to say that I arrived where I am today by the choices I made.  Sometimes, I had to make very difficult and strong decisions in reaction to the choices and actions of others around me. It seems that no one likes ultimatums.   The ultimatum can the starting point for some scenarios of extreme dysfunction unless one or both parties recognizes this as a gateway to  the emotional roller-coaster.  I chose to not ride the ride any longer.  I didn’t want my children to grow up thinking that they should settle for a toxic marriage.v I made the  complicated and exhausting decision to bring an end to the madness.  Let’s make this simple - if he chose to not go to rehab, I would choose to not stay by his side.  His behaviour had become bizarre and extreme and truthfully, I didn’t feel safe around him, for myself or the children. 

I have created this work in the hopes of helping other women who find themselves in the unfortunate position of facing divorce in the second part of their life journey.  The information can be used by anyone, but I specifically address women at that later station of life, because those are the eyes that I use to look at the world.

I hope that my work will help connect the dots between the legal, the financial, the spiritual, the emotional and the physical aspects of moving through a divorce.  It is my intention to help and guide women in rebuilding their lives, especially their wealth, during and after a divorce.  I want to provide information portholes to allow for the entire tapestry to weave itself back together. I do not believe that you can look at a divorce as just a legal process.  It involves so much more:  your finances, your emotional health, and by extension, your physical health. Therefore, the rebuilding process,  also involves so much more.

The initial part of my writing in the free e-book addresses some things you should look after immediately. 

The blog will provide constant, on-going support from other women in different stages of divorce and access to constantly updated information.

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